Bearing our Sickness: the Passion in 2020

This painting means a great deal to me. It lives in a marvellous museum in Colmar in the Alsace region of France. I first saw it there when I was a teenager, working on a farm near Strasbourg during what we would now call my gap year. I was grasped by this extraordinary and powerful work. Like Bach's St John Passion, it's been central to the way I've tried to understand and respond to the crucifixion throughout my adult life.

Let me first describe the painting. It belongs to a complex threefold altarpiece whose constituent parts were displayed to reflect the changing seasons of the liturgical year. It was created for an Antonine convent at Isenheim not far from Colmar (hence its name, the Isenheim Altarpiece). The 'Hospital Brothers of St Antony' lived under the Rule of St Augustine. Their particular vocation was to care for the sick. The altarpiece was commissioned in the early sixteenth century and was complete by 1516. This was on the eve of the German Reformation, so it belongs to the very last phase of medieval religious art with its distinctive spirituality focused on the passion and death of Christ. It is the masterpiece of German painter Matthias Grünewald (c1470-1528) of whom we know little, and of whose output only a handful of works survive.

The crucified Jesus dominates the painting, not only because he is placed at the centre but owing to his immense size - compare the figures on either side. He is not the martyr serenely offering up his life to his Father, but the agonised victim wracked with pain and suffering spiritual torment in a terrible darkness. There is no beauty or dignity to admire in this figure: this could be any common criminal, vagabond or slave. His skin is pitted with scars; we can read every muscle and sinew as the tension in his body drags down the ends of the cross-piece of this engine of death. It's as if God has entirely abandoned him at Golgotha. This is the passion according to Matthew or Mark: 'my God, my God, why have you forsaken me?'

And this seems to be the experience of the two women to his right. His mother Mary is attired in a grave-cloth white (where else is she depicted quite like this?), swooning at this appalling sight of her Son's death. At her feet Mary Magdalen kneels distraught at the foot of the cross, wringing her hands in a gesture that's as pitiful as anything in art. St John leans in to Mary, his hand pressing her towards him in a vain attempt to protect and comfort her. Opposite, John the Baptist stands apart, the interpreter out of time, pointing to the cross as an event foretold in the scriptures. The text reminds us of his words about Jesus, that 'he must increase while I must decrease', and of how he had spoken of him as 'the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world', shown in the painting as emptying his blood into a chalice that will, paradoxically, bring life to the world.

The Marys and the Beloved Disciple are shown again in the entombment below the crucifixion, where the agonies above finally reach some kind of resolution - it would be too much to call it rest. And on each side stand figures of saints: Sebastian, pierced by arrows, and Antony, the patron of the order that commissioned the painting. Both were appealed to in defence against sickness, not least the plague that was endemic across Europe during much of the middle ages. But there's a more specific reference in the image of Antony. The Antonines had been founded in 1093 by a man whose son had been cured through Antony's intercession of what was known as the 'burning sickness' or 'St Antony's fire'. Outbreaks of ergotism, a fungal poisoning caused by alkaloids in infected grains, regularly afflicted pre-modern societies. Its distinctive symptoms were severe and painful seizures and spasms, and a gangrenous rot that spread across the entire body. The suffering was excruciating, and usually fatal. It was to the care of its victims that the Isenheim convent was devoted. 

Experts who have studied the altarpiece have suggested that the artists consciously chose to depict the crucified Jesus as a victim of this terrible disease. His scarred, defaced skin not only bears the marks of persecution and human cruelty. It shows him covered with tumours and lesions from head to toe. No doubt Grünewald had seen for himself the effects of ergotism on its victims, perhaps in the convent morgue. This physical disfigurement of Christ adds to the profoundly disturbing effect the painting would have had - and was meant to have - on those who viewed it. It was a memento mori, a reminder of mortality. The message was: anyone could catch the disease and die from it. And even if they didn't, they would die of something. Even the Son of Man was not immune, for he was mortal, like us. 

Which of course is the whole point. In that bleak warning about mortality is embedded the possibility of a transforming vision. The startling insight that Jesus shares our humanity to the point of embracing our sickness is how the painter wants suffering victims to begin to find solace and hope. For he is Immanuel, God-with-us! This crucified Lord, says the painting, does not stand above suffering and pain in self-isolation from all that afflicts human beings. On the contrary. He makes our pain his own, immerses himself in our suffering, empties himself of his life because of it, demonstrates the depth of his love through his solidarity with the human race. 

How could Grünewald not have had in his mind the image of the suffering servant of the Lord in Isaiah 53? St Matthew quotes this famous passage (though not in the form we know it best from Handel's Messiah). 'He took our infirmities and bore our diseases' (Matthew 8.1). This turns out to be the likely meaning of the Hebrew. The Jewish scholar Robert Alter translates the passage as follows. 'Despised and shunned by people, a man of sorrows and visited by illness. And like one from whom the gaze is averted, despised, and we reckoned him naught. Indeed, he has borne our illness, and our sorrows he has carried. But we had reckoned him plagued, God-stricken and tormented' (Isaiah 53.3-4). 

You'll see why this painting has come alive for me in a new way since the Coronavirus pandemic began. I can't give you a precise explanation of what it means to say that the suffering servant 'bears our sickness'. But the key to it for me is the idea of solidarity. I think that during these past weeks we've all discovered how important solidarity is, and how heartening. Our feeling for those who have the virus severely, for those who have died of it or lost those they love have resulted in a profound sense of holding them together in our hearts and in whatever way we find ourselves praying.

I'm also thinking of our admiration of and respect for the courage and heroic commitment of those involved in health care and the emergency services. And of so many others who also face risks in front-line services that support us, from supermarkets to corner shops, in food supply chains, social services, education, public transport, refuse collection not to mention the three quarters of a million people who have enlisted as volunteers.... the list is endless. We are more aware of how interdependent we are in our common life and that can only be good. Lighting candles in our windows, coming out on the streets to applaud the NHS, a million little acts of care and kindness are examples of this. It's truly inspiring. 

And solidarity is what I experience by being drawn into the painting: my solidarity with all who suffer, theirs with me, and God's solidarity with all the human race. My response to the altarpiece is complicated, but it goes something like this. 'Behold the Lamb of God' it seems to say through John the Baptist as he points to the Christ on the cross. 'Look on this victim, this innocent sufferer who is undergoing what is afflicting so many people and threatens to overwhelm you, who was as lonely and desperate and afraid as you are. He drinks the cup of suffering to its dregs, embraces our sickness and our sorrow in solidarity with us, lightens burdens that are so huge, so dreadful that they would crush us completely if we had to bear them on our own. Look on him, and find strength. Cast your care upon him, for he cares for you. Find comfort, learn trust, have hope.' Perhaps this is all I need just now.

Today, Passiontide begins and our thoughts turn to the cross and all that it means. The gospel reading on this Sunday is the raising of Lazarus in John 11. Twice comes the pitiful lament from the dead man's sisters, 'Lord, if you had been here he would not have died!' On another panel of the altarpiece St Antony is shown again, this time with an agonised question, 'Where were you, good Jesus, why were you not there to heal my wounds?' The painting, and the passion narrative, answer that question. He was there. He is there. He will always be there with us and for us, this crucified God who bears the pain of the world on his heart. He is the Christ of Coronavirus. It's what incarnation means. This is the glory of the cross, full of grace and truth.

Images of Calm in Anxious Times

The tenth day of going Lazaretto (in self-isolation) and the first of lockdown. It’s a strange existence for all of us and a worrying one. I’ve been aware of the anxiety I’ve felt in the face of Covid19’s relentless advance. The fact that this threat is silent and invisible adds to the unease. When the Prime Minister spoke to the nation last night about what lockdown must mean, I wondered whether this is what it felt like on the morning of 3 September 1939 when another PM told Britain that she was now at war.

I guess my response was much the same as yours. I thought of the people - so many of them, young as well as old - whom the virus has touched and made sick, mortally so for some. I thought about the courageous men and women on the frontline of health care who are facing impossible life-and-death decisions about where to allocate resources and seem inadequately protected themselves. I thought about the countless people whose finances, livelihoods and homes have suddenly become immensely precarious. I thought about our own locality, our neighbours in this agreeably ordinary village community. I thought of our friends in other parts of the world and here in Britain. I thought of our family, our grandchildren who can barely comprehend what is happening to them, and whom we may not see for months. And yes, of course I thought of ourselves too, quarantined in our home, so lucky to be safe and well (so far), and provided for and with each other to support and love.

It’s hard not to be troubled by turbulent thoughts. The virus extends a force-field over all of us. We are caught up in a kind of psychic instability. Maybe I’m just a natural worrier. I find it easy to imagine, no, expect, the worst. ‘What if...’ this happens, or that, or a thousand other possibilities? Anxious times feed such Puddleglum reveries. Almost all of them are fantasies that take me nowhere except deeper into the slough of despond. Or they are imagined threats I can do nothing to mitigate, tomorrow’s bridges there’s no point in trying to cross today. And the longer we have in lockdown, the more time there is to fill with morbidity.

There’s a spiritual task here. It’s about quietening the spirit, cultivating equanimity, nurturing a more even temperament. As the well-known text Desiderata has it, that adorns many a living-room wall, ‘Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.... Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself....’ Which is not far away from the wisdom writers’ encouragement to live not out of fear but out of trust, echoed in Jesus’ words in the Sermon on the Mount: ‘Do not worry about your life’ (Matthew 6.25-33). Living trustfully is a key insight of the scriptures.

All my life I’ve found solace in music and art and they are great travelling companions through these febrile times. As is photography. When we first decided to go Lazaretto, I began to sift through my catalogue of photographs looking for images that might provide a focus for meditation. And then I thought: why not share some of them online? So I began to put some favourites on social media (Twitter and FaceBook), just one image each day using the hashtag #ImagesOfCalm. A bit corny, I know, but I couldn’t think of a better one. I’m delighted that a few others are now doing the same. I can promise that I have more than enough photographs to see us through at least twelve weeks of self-isolation.

You’d expect images of nature to feature. There’s something reassuring about landscapes, skies, water, trees, flowers, animals and birds. As you’re drawn inside an image of the natural world, you’re reminded that you belong to the created order, that the good earth is your home, and you’re helped to rediscover your place in the scheme of things. Walking in our peaceful Northumberland valley has been both calming and poignant this March. Daffodils and blackthorn blossom, new-born lambs and birdsong all remind us that with or without us, springtime is as fresh and abundant as ever.

Other images feature human creativity. Buildings, sculpture and paintings play a large part in my own imaginative life, so expect to see some of these in my choice of photographs. I believe there’s a special place for still life. This image (taken at Washington Old Hall) suggested itself for the simplicity of its forms and the
quietness of its colouring. The pewter candlestick and ewer are beautiful objects in themselves. But I liked the way they are lit against the curtain and the window, a light-and-shadow chiaroscuro that is so suggestive of these times we are experiencing. And faith can perhaps see in the ewer the implication of life-giving water, and in the candle, the light of grace and truth.

Some images may be more intriguing, perhaps disturbing. Take today’s photo on the left. I was in a cafe on a bleak day in the Port of Blyth and saw this table and chairs on the deck outside the window. It could not have conveyed a more forlorn scene, reinforced by low contrast in a dull even light. Few of my photos have unnerved me more than this one with its hint the surreal, even the dystopian. I wondered whether to post it this morning. Yet this empty table seemed to fit this first dislocated day of lockdown, representing our enforced abandonment of social life, laughter and the love of friends. Undeniably calm, it’s true, but it’s the ‘dead calm’ so well described by Tennyson in In Memoriam, his elegy for the friend he had lost: ‘And in my heart, if calm at all, / If any calm, a calm despair’.

Yet I also found a more promising ‘calm’ in what I saw. As I gazed at it, the furniture seemed to issue an invitation, or at least the possibility of one. For now, they were in a dormant state, tidily and symmetrically stowed on the decking to provide material for photographers like me. But, I thought, it would not be long before they would be peopled again. Like the wintry trees in another image I shared, it was only a matter of time before the scene would be brought back to life, animated by living, breathing people sitting at the table and enjoying the food and drink placed on it. An obvious allusion to the eucharist, of course, the celebration we are denied for now while our churches are closed for worship, but which remains at the heart of the spiritual life for all who follow Jesus.

Finally, I'm including more explicit images associated with faith. You'd expect that from a God-botherer like me, whose understanding of things has been shaped by Christianity all my adult life. On St Cuthbert's Day I posted a distant view of Durham Cathedral, his shrine, with a contemporary interpretation of an Irish high cross in the foreground. On Mothering Sunday I shared a perspective of Joseph Pyrz's Annunciation sculpture of Blessed Mary the Virgin in the Galilee Chapel of the Cathedral. I've long believed that photography can open up perspectives on faith and the spiritual life in ways that can surprise and enchant us. I don’t think I’d realised how potent a tool it can be until now.

So I'd like to think that these 'images of calm' could reassure and strengthen us when things are fragile and we are living through times of risk and danger. 'Go placidly...' I hope too that they may in turn put their questions to us, and encourage us to look again at the assumptions on which we base our lives and how we face a crisis. And maybe, just maybe, they could challenge us to try to live more authentically not least in reaching out to and helping those who need support and care so much.

Prayer in a Time of Coronavirus

I'm sitting in the study window as I write. The sun is shining outside, the air is calm and still. There are very few people walking past in the street. Daffodils are in full flower: this is a beautiful spring. I look across to the parish church of St Cuthbert. It will be open all day for prayer, reflection and stillness, but on this Mothering Sunday, the bells will not ring, the candles will not be lit and there will be no public act of worship.

These are such strange times to be living through. Here in Burswell House, we are in quarantine, lazaretto, as I wrote last time. Unless you are St Cuthbert who knew a lot about self-isolation, it takes some getting used to. We know it is for the safety of all of us, others, ourselves. But on Sunday especially, it is hard to realise that the eucharist will not be the focal point of our day, hard not to look forward to seeing our friends and neighbours in church, one of the village's key gathering-places, hard not to have face-to-face contact and share our stories of the past week.

So like many of you I'm sure, we listened especially carefully to today's act of worship on BBC Radio 4. It came from Lambeth Palace and was led by the Archbishop of Canterbury. It could not have been done better. There was great sensitivity in the choice of readings, music and prayers to reflect the seriousness of these times. Familiar words seemed to take on fresh and urgent meanings. In the opening hymn, for instance, ‘Lord of all hopefulness, Lord of all joy’. I’ve sung it hundreds of times, yet never felt more powerfully the sense of the day’s curve and of our life’s curve traced out in the last line of each stanza, from ‘the break of the day’ through ‘the noon of the day’ to ‘the eve of the day’ and ‘the end of the day’. It was inspired, too, to choose as the gospel reading the word from the cross in St John where Jesus entrusts his mother and the beloved disciple to each other’s care: Mothering Sunday perfectly linked to human suffering in the passion of Jesus.*

Tonight at 7pm, in common with people across the country, we shall light a candle in the study window. Indeed, we’ve decided to light it each evening at that time for a few minutes for as long as this Coronavirus is with us. In the Middle Ages they spoke of plague stalking the streets. Well, maybe the virus will see these candles burning in our windows and think better of crossing our thresholds. I’m speaking in primitive metaphor, of course. But there’s something undeniably powerful in kindling lights in a solidarity of prayer and hope. Our solidarity with others, God’s solidarity with us. I dare say we shall be the stronger in mind and spirit for taking part in this simple yet profound act, better equipped to face whatever ordeals the coming weeks and months may bring.

When we are forced to be socially distanced or ‘self-isolated’, it matters that we do not think of ourselves as alone, cut off from the mainstream of our society, the human family, those who love us. There’s a required solitude just now, of course whether we experience it as individual people, couples or families. But as Cuthbert and the desert fathers teach us, solitude is not isolation. The hermit life was and is a profoundly connected way of being human in which relationships and community matter all the more, not less. Our lighted candles, vulnerable and precarious though their flames will be, nevertheless represent the conviction that we are together in anxiety and suffering, together in our wish to hold victims in our hearts and care for them, together in our hope, our expectation indeed, that under God we shall be kept safe through this time of trial.

That’s an allusion to the final petition of the Lord’s Prayer, of course, ‘Save us in the time of trial and rescue us from the evil one’ as I think it should be translated.** Peirasmos, which we usually render as ‘temptation’, has much more the sense of a great ordeal such as would destroy the faith and hope of anyone. It’s what Jesus experiences in the desert as we recall in this season of Lent, this quarantine of savage times and places that he must undergo in his wilderness of self-isolation. In the anxieties that this pandemic is generating, I think we are probably experiencing a collective peirasmos such as we haven’t known for decades, maybe never in our lifetimes. It’s as cruel as that.

I doubt those who first prayed the words of the Our Father thought they were thereby protected from physical danger or harm. What’s the Lord’s Prayer fundamentally about? Surely it’s the coming of God’s kingdom, his just and gentle rule that brings everything into its right relationship with the Creator, that reconciles all that is broken and destructive and hurtful, that is the source of grace and truth, joy, peace and good in human life. It’s our inward transformation I shall be thinking of when we light our candle tonight. And of the words Jesus says to Peter before the ordeal of his passion, ‘I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail’*** - personally and collectively. We need to pray for one another and for our world that in the face of this threat, our faith may not fail and our hope be kept alive - even if it’s as fragile as a tiny candle flame burning in a great darkness.

This ordeal is hard for all of us and may be devastating for some. Who knows if we shall catch the virus ourselves despite taking every precaution, perhaps be severely affected by it, maybe even die or be bereaved because of it? It’s foolish not to ask ourselves those questions and make preparations in case our fears are realised. Our forebears took mortality for granted: read the seventeenth century Bishop Jeremy Taylor’s Holy Living and Holy Dying as one of the most famous and spiritually wise examples of how to face death with equanimity. We find it harder than his generation to imagine that we won’t live for ever. But when we love life and are filled with gratitude at the beauty of things and the wonder of our own existence, it’s not surprising that the thought of not seeing another springtime seems unbearable at times.

So our candle can be the prayer that during these turbulent times, we don’t lose heart but that our faith holds, sustained by the belief that God is not far from any of us and that he is especially close to those who are suffering or lonely or afraid. We need to pray, ‘save us in the time of trial and deliver us from the evil one’. And perhaps see in the candles in our windows a promise of the Paschal Candle  that will be lit in our churches on Easter Day in celebration of Christ risen from the dead. In our darkened streets, tonight’s candles will speak not only of our solidarity in suffering, but of a hope that transcends fear and pain and loss and even death itself. ‘We are more than conquerors through him who loved us’ says St Paul.****

I think of those words, and my spirits lighten. I am not as fearful as I was. I feel strangely calmed, and stronger once again.

*John 19.25-27       **Matthew 6.13       ***Luke 22.32      ****Romans 8.37

Exiles in our Own Home: a spirituality for self-isolation

In this unlooked-for state of self-isolation or as I prefer to call it, Lazaretto which I wrote about in my last blog, the days stretch languidly ahead. They extend beyond the forthcoming spring equinox, beyond Holy Week and Easter, beyond Pentecost, even beyond the summer solstice when the days start getting shorter again.

My diary has been emptied of all engagements. No preaching or speaking, no social events to look forward to, no volunteering in the charity bookshop, no trips to see the grandchildren, no weekends away, no shopping expeditions, no bus or train journeys, no visits to the library or cinema, restaurants, cafes and art galleries, no church services to go to. Lazaretto is a strange land to find myself in.

Who knows how long this quarantine will last?  Twelve weeks are being spoken about. But it could be twenty or more, taking us towards the threshold of autumn. How will we know when it is safe to come out again? Whose permission will we need? What will it be like to take up normal activity again, frequent crowded places, start travelling, socialising, hugging and shaking hands? What will it take to banish worry and fear?

If it were winter, we would call it hibernation. But it will be summer, so the right word for it is aestivation. And spring and summer days will always have the capacity to lift our spirits, make us glad that light and warmth have arrived. They will entice us out into the open to enjoy clean fresh air (all the fresher because of lowered emissions during the pandemic through the sharp decline in air travel that it's brought). They will invite us to find our place once again in the natural world and celebrate its loveliness. Despite what some are saying, unless we have symptoms of infection, there’s no reason not to go outside during quarantine. We should take plenty of exercise. Nature has a renewing effect on mind and body. (We simply need to stay a safe distance away from anyone we meet, but the open air does provide opportunities for social contact that would be risky indoors.)

I've been hunting for analogies to help me make a good aestivation. It would be so easy for Lazaretto to be defined by negation - here's what I won't do anymore, here's what I've had to give up, here's the heavy price I'm having to pay on this long ordeal of empty times and spaces. How might I understand it more positively, as an opportunity for good things to happen, as an enriching and rewarding adventure, as gift? In my last blog, I offered a few practical suggestions. In this and coming blogs I want to see if there are comparable experiences that could shed light on what lies ahead.

My first analogy is exile. I like that image because, like self-isolation, it is unwished for. No-one goes into exile willingly. No-one contemplates the loss of home or land or community, all that's familiar and that makes us feel safe. Exile is an experience of dislocation that is enforced, often without warning. I think all this is to some extent true of quarantine. Like the exiles of Psalm 137, we can become despondent or angry, experience severe turbulence in our emotions. 'How shall we sing the Lord's song in a strange land?'

But exile can be a great teacher. Much of the greatest literature in the Hebrew Bible originated in the sixth century BCE when the exiles had no choice but to re-examine the foundations of their faith in an environment where the question was inevitably, what theological, spiritual sense can this catastrophe possibly make? The fruits of that deep search are found in the Torah, the classical prophets, and many of the Psalms and wisdom writings. Israel could never have expected that the destruction of the temple, the end of the monarchy, the conquest of the land and exile to a far country could possibly be gift. But so it proved.

So in the light of that observation, I am asking myself, how should I contemplate these coming weeks of exile in my own home?

I'm inspired by a passage in one of those great prophets of exile, Jeremiah. We're used to thinking of him as a man weighed down by a sense of doom. It's true that his laments are among the most passionate outbursts of anger in the scriptures as he internalises the people's experience of exile and the conclusion that God must have abandoned them. But how different is the tone of a letter he wrote to the exiles in Babylon.

Thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel, to all the exiles whom I have sent into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: Build houses and live in them; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Take wives and have sons and daughters; take wives for your sons, and give your daughters in marriage, that they may bear sons and daughters; multiply there, and do not decrease. But seek the welfare of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its welfare you will find your welfare. (Jeremiah 29.4-7)

How to be at home in exile, how to inhabit it? - that's the challenge Jeremiah puts to the exiles. It seems extraordinary to ask of them that they should befriend this experience of disorientation. It goes against all their instincts to invest in exile in this way. Yet Jeremiah understands how adversity always invites us to renegotiate life on a new set of terms. And when we do this, undreamed of possibilities open up. No doubt he has learned this through his own experience. There is no landscape so barren that life cannot begin again - even if it takes time to glimpse the green shoots that promise springtime at the end of a long winter. 

But it's the conclusion that's so starting. Seek the welfare of the city and pray to the Lord on its behalf! You'll forgive the intruded exclamation mark, but this arresting instruction deserves it. We thought that exile meant that God had forgotten us. We thought this city was an unclean, godforsaken place. We thought that the best we could hope for was survival, not building houses, sowing harvests, bringing up families. But look! The prophet says we must say our prayers for this place. We must look for it to flourish because if it does, we shall too. Which can only mean that God is as present here in Babylon as we knew him to be back in Judah. He is not an absent deity after all. As the covenant promised he always would be, he is with us. And he will not forsake us.

As a person of faith, I want to discover how these insights speak into this twenty-first century expression of exile. Self-isolation, as I said last time, is a depressing term that seems to me to encourage all that the prophet wants to resist: self-absorption, self-concern, self-pity. Jeremiah's letter is saying: don't let exile diminish your life. Don't let it erode your capacity to reach into each new moment to uncover the possibilities latent there. Keep hope alive. Remember your community of fellow-exiles, especially people in need. Try to ask, even in times of crisis, where God might be found in what is happening to us. See if there is wisdom to be distilled in the events that happen to us, however painful or baffling or bleak. Share what you discover. Ask others what they are learning too. 

I know from my own previous experiences of exile that all this takes time. Whether it's been disappointment or failure, conflict or bereavement, it won't be hurried. It's important to acknowledge what we feel when we feel it, and to be emotionally and spiritually honest in recognising it. We mustn't rush prematurely out of Good Friday into Easter. But time will do its work. I can't predict as this exile begins what life will be like in one month's time, or two, or three. But I profoundly believe that God will be with us throughout it. Even with those for whom these coming weeks pose real threats of economic hardship, loneliness, physical and mental health or bereavement. 

Especially them, especially those who will suffer the most. It's for all of us to bring help, support and comfort to our fellow exiles wherever and however we can. And hope in dark times. This is the quarantine spirituality of Lazaretto.  
 

Self-Isolating: 'Going Lazaretto'

It looks like there's going to be a lot of time for woolgathering in the next few weeks.

Jenny and I are now in self-isolation here in Burswell House. How I hate that phrase with its self-serving connotations! We are in quarantine, or as I think I'm going to call it, going lazaretto. The 'lazaret' in early modern times was a place of quarantine for travellers at sea. Sometimes it would be a well detached building on or near the shore, sometimes an island close to a harbour or a ship permanently at anchor. Lepers would be looked after there, or mariners (and slaves) suffering from diseases like cholera or plague. (See the image at the end of this blog.)

The name comes from Lazarus, not the brother of Mary and Martha whom Jesus raised from the dead, but the poor man in the parable who lay begging at the rich man's gate (Luke 16.19-31). When he died, he was carried up into heaven by angels and found safety in Abraham's bosom while the rich man who had ignored the destitute beggar ended up in hell. So the lazaretto is a place of safety and refuge where the needy can be looked after. And in this pandemic, looking after one another is the first call on us all if we want to love our neighbour.

We made the decision to go lazaretto at the weekend, before the Prime Minister's speech yesterday. We are of that certain age (three score years and ten), and I am male with an 'underlying health condition'. Who knows if we are already carrying the virus? If so, we need to protect others from it. And to take sensible measures to protect ourselves, and so lighten the load on our already hugely over-burdened NHS. Yesterday, Jenny got talking to someone married to a virologist. That couple, aware of what was happening in China, has been in lazaretto since Christmas. Until now they have not been saying anything about it, reckoning that people would think them crazy. No-one will think that this morning.

It's a strange, unwelcome decision we've made. And a scary one. We have no idea what it will feel like after a week, a fortnight, three months of quarantine. I spent yesterday shutting down my life outside our home. I contacted the Oxfam bookshop and Hexham Abbey where I volunteer and explained. I apologised to the committees I attend that are due to meet in the next two weeks. I withdrew from a speaking engagement later this month, and (this was especially hard to do) from preaching Holy Week in a Cathedral in the south of England. We had already decided not to travel to continental Europe last week (and with the rapid shutting down of everyday life in France and Germany, it's possible we might not have got back to the UK for some while). We won't be socialising any more (such a lovely dinner party we went to last week, and we all behaved very circumspectly without the normal hugs and handshakes, but it was our last social event for some time). We won't be using public transport. We'll go to the shops only when we need to (and hope that panic buying hasn't emptied the shelves).

These choices are facing all of us now, and all the institutions we belong to. Whether to stay open, how to maintain a working staff, if and when to close, and in some cases indeed, how to remain viable in the face of real economic threat. Churches and cathedrals are having to decide how, if at all, to hold services for the foreseeable future, especially during Holy Week and Easter. If our personal quarantined life is going to be hard, I need to remember that for others it's going to be much, much tougher: those who were already ‘just about managing’ or not managing at all, those who don’t know if they’ll still have a job by the end of the week, those who are chronically sick and in fear of what infection by this virus could mean for them. These are extraordinarily difficult times for  leaders in public life and in our businesses, caring organisations and faith communities.

None of us who were born after the war have ever known anything like this. I can remember my parents being worried when I caught a cold during the Asian flu pandemic of 1957. I don't recall any special public health warnings being issued; if they were, I was too young to be paying attention. But if the famous 'wartime spirit' is any guide (and I'm aware how tiresome it can be to invoke it), then it's important to think positively, keep hope alive, not succumb to self-pity, paralysis, despondency or despair, however frightened we may be.

Forgive me for striking a domestic note in the face of such challenges. I can only say what this may mean for me. I think that when we find ourselves isolated, as we shall inevitably be, we need to pay attention to the shape of each day. Pattern and rhythm to structure time are essential if we are not to become listless or bored. St Benedict understood this when he wrote his Rule for Monks, allocating times each day for prayer, study and work alongside mealtimes and sleep. In particular, going into quarantine could be a real opportunity for us to rediscover this insight, think about the part prayer, spirituality, meditation or mindfulness - whatever we call it - plays in our lives, and allocate time to it for our soul's health. It's especially significant that we are having to think about this during Lent, a kind of 40-day quarantine, a time for spiritual renewal as we look forward to Easter. There's a lot of enforced 'giving up' we are all having to do this year. But think of the time it is releasing to discover new opportunities for personal and spiritual growth.

Fresh air and exercise is going to be important. We are lucky here in Northumberland to be surrounded by beautiful countryside that we can walk from our own front door. There's no reason not to go out and enjoy the springtime as the days grow longer; and no reason not to stop and talk to the people I meet, as long as we keep a safe distance from one another. We must not become too precious about our quarantine. As an introvert, I'm not afraid of my own company for hours on end, though I realise that for some, it is going to be a big hardship not to have frequent social contact with other people. But solitude is precisely not a matter of social distancing, only physical distancing. We have telephones and the internet, TV and radio. We are better connected today than we have ever been. It's important to remain socially linked by whatever means we can if we are not to be overtaken by loneliness. In this we must help one another.

For people not yet retired, there's a lot of emphasis on working from home if possible. So I'm asking myself what this could mean for me as a volunteer. I'm not clear yet how I could go on supporting the churches and organisations I'm involved in remotely, from my study desk, though I've asked whether there is any writing I could do, or social media activity or even, in the case of Oxfam, pricing rare and antiquarian books for the online bookshop. This emergency is requiring us all to be inventive. I want to go on contributing if I can. And seeing how I can lend support to Coronavirus initiatives being developed in my own village and locality.

I could go on, and probably shall in future blogs as lazaretto becomes a daily lived experience. Among the possibilities it may bring could be to nurture personal relationships: marriage (because in my case, quarantine is a shared experience), family, friends. Maybe there are people from my past whom I can make contact with during this time. I'll no doubt read books, watch films, listen to music, perhaps work at a foreign language or get down to some writing... We can all have projects that help give direction to time's arrow. What matters for our collective health and our personal wellbeing is to be open to the opportunities and seize the day. We did not want this virus, and its effects on all of us are going to be severe in ways we can't foresee yet. There was so much we took for granted a few weeks ago, including (for most of us) our own health and our hope to remain alive for a few more years yet. All that has now changed. It's 'the sacrament of the present moment' that matters now, being thankful for each day, living well in the light of its gift and possibility.

In all this I'm thinking aloud. The virus is making us exiles in our own land. The landmarks have shifted, nothing is quite staying in place any more. We are taking our first steps on a journey that is going to be long and testing. Like Christian and Hopeful in Pilgrim's Progress there will be more than one Slough of Despond to negotiate, and the Valley of the Shadow of Death and the Hill Difficulty. We shall pass by Doubting Castle and Vanity Fair. But Delectable Mountains too, I hope, and enticing glimpses of the Celestial City, whatever that vision means for us. The question is, will we carry on travelling as pilgrims? Try to find and name the kindness and goodness in things? Glimpse the presence of God even - especially! - in what is most painful and cruel and hard? Do what we can to help others who need what we could bring them? That’s my prayer.

Stay safe. Be of good cheer. You are not alone. Buon Lazaretto!

Abroad Thoughts from Home: on not travelling

It’s a dull, wet day here in Tynedale. Nothing unusual in that: the weather has been unspeakable for weeks. But today we should have been driving off the Newcastle-Amsterdam ferry and heading south into Germany and France.

The plan was to drive up the Rhine to a village near Strasbourg. I was due to give addresses there at a weekend conference for church people from the Anglican Diocese in Europe. On the way we had planned to stay in Düsseldorf. This was where my Jewish mother was born and brought up until, at the age of fourteen, she was sent to Britain to escape the Nazi persecution. We'd arranged to meet the head teacher of her old school and some of his current students. He has taken a great interest in Jewish children who had attended it before the war, making contact with survivors (my mother was one of the few) and helping today’s young people understand the terrible history of Germany under the Third Reich.

After the conference, we were going to linger for a few days in Alsace, one of our favourite regions of France. That too is an area with long memories for me. In my gap year (we didn’t call it that in the 1960s), I worked for a few months on a pig farm at Pfaffenhoffen, a village north of Strasbourg. I grew to love Alsace and its culture, positioned as it is at a crossroads of Europe by the Rhine where French and German identity, language and culture meet. And at the end of our tour, we had booked to stay a night at Edam in the Netherlands (where the cheese comes from) where my grandparents were kept safe underground for two years by two evangelical Christian sisters who saw it as their vocation to shelter Jews during the Nazi occupation.

But we’re not on the autobahn where we should have been today. It’s the virus of course. Last Friday I was talking on the phone to my GP about the medication I’m on. It’s relevant to this story that a few years ago I had a silent heart attack which was only discovered during an MRI scan later on. I was already on medication for atrial fibrillation and hypertension. ‘Too much information’ you cry! Point taken. That’s all you need to know.

‘By the way’, I asked my doctor, ‘what about travelling abroad with Covid19 spreading across the continent?’ He spelled out the risks: not travel per se, but being in close proximity to people you don’t know in ships and hotels and conference centres. It’s not only the risk they pose to you, but yours to them. Any of us could be carrying the virus without knowing it. Only 20% of those who catch it will develop severe symptoms. Of those, a few percent will die. You could be one of the unlucky ones, he went on. You are nearly 70. You have an ‘underlying health condition’. You are male. You tick all three ‘higher risk’ boxes.

‘Ok’, I replied, ‘I know you’re not telling me whether to travel or not, but giving me the information I need in order to make a sensible decision. But perhaps you can answer this: what would you do in my situation?’ He paused, then said: ‘In your position, I would not travel. Maybe you’d be fine. You probably would. But I don’t think any of us should travel just now unless it’s essential. I’m surprised that the FCO website is as relaxed as it is about overseas travel. And if you found yourself quarantined while you were away, you’d say to yourselves that this ordeal was avoidable. Far better, if it comes to it, to be quarantined in your own home’. Or words to that effect.

I’ve often found that to ask someone, ‘what would you do in my situation?’ can open the door to a really helpful conversation. The other person – priest, financial advisor, counsellor, GP, spouse or friend - isn’t doing my work for me. In adulthood, other people can’t and shouldn’t make decisions for us. Not if we are in our right mind, and competent to be led by the evidence, weigh it up and come to a view about what we should do. But to ask ‘what would you do?’ does allow my conversation partner to be candid. I’ve often said to others who’ve sought my advice: ‘I can’t make this decision for you. But given what you’ve told me, I can suggest how I’d respond if I were in your shoes’. My GP was willing to do that. I needed to hear what he had to say. But the decision not to travel was ours, and ours alone.

Today, when we should have been on the road, it’s inevitable that I ask myself whether we did the right thing. It all comes down to risk. Did we do the risk analysis well? Was our appetite for risk unduly cautious? On the other hand, had we crossed the North Sea after all, might we now be asking if this was a reckless adventure we shouldn’t have embarked on? I’ve since learned that the Land or province of Nordrein-Westfalen which includes Düsseldorf is where most of Germany’s cases of the virus have been reported.

As I wrote in my last blog there is a virus that is more contagious than Covid19. It’s the fear and anxiety that it’s generating. One professional I’ve heard speak about it, a senior epidemiologist, says that Covid19 poses the gravest global threat through disease since the Spanish flu of 1918 that killed so many millions. This coronavirus is not as deadly as, say, Ebola, but crucially, it is far more infectious. The combination of high probability of contagion with serious impacts on more vulnerable sections of the population raises the risk level significantly. Enough to make it essential that we change our behaviours to mitigate the risk.

Our travel dilemma is a case-study of how we are all being faced with new and difficult choices thanks to the virus. They involve changes of thought, habit and behaviour. Handwashing and hygiene, not kissing or shaking hands – these are straightforward enough. Trickier are choices that involve our daily work, our education, our family and social lives, our holiday plans. Wherever people gather - schools, sports and leisure venues, pubs, restaurants, businesses, shops, theatres, cinemas, churches, airports and railway stations – all are having to negotiate territory that is unfamiliar and unwelcome. They have to make choices about how to manage in these coming weeks and months, aware that there are big economic and social consequences at stake. We have to decide what kind of engagement with them will be low-risk and safe, and where we need to be more cautious. It’s a kind of exile, a strange land where ordinary rules of engagement are suspended. (‘Exile’ was to have been the theme of my Bible studies at the church conference – how much material there suddenly is to reflect on!)

As for me, I’m hugely disappointed not to be travelling today. Yet relieved, too, that we don’t have to. Our children certainly feel that way. It’s a conflicted place to be. Only hindsight will reassure us about our decision, or not, as the case may be. We tried to act for the best. But life is lived not in the crystal-clarity of black-and-white but in ambiguity, among a million shades of grey. Faith becomes a real factor when you have to weigh up risks. As does courage, whatever path we opt to tread. ‘Face the fear and do it anyway’: the fear of doing something or of not doing it. These are early days in the story of the virus. There will be many more decisions we shall need to face in the future, and some of them will be painful and hard.

That’s where prayer, wisdom and God-given discernment come into things. There’s spiritual work to do at times like these. The virus sends us back to the foundations of our faith and what it is that gives us our dignity as men and women. And where we believe God is found at the core of seems to be dangerous and frightening. 'Do not worry about tomorrow' says Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount. I try not to, though temperamentally I find it's one of the hardest challenges of the gospel. Cultivating wisdom, learning to take the long view, finding hope where I can, and above all, living contentedly, thankful for the goodness of God - these I've found to be the most important strategies for mitigating risk at an inward level, facing it with equanimity and becoming, God willing, a better human being as a result.